it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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