Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
