All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
