I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
