No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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