Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
