he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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