her vagine was all disorganized.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
