I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
