Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
