sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
