I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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