All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
