Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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