If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
