Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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