So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
