I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
