this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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