They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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