So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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