you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i think i have two assholes
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
