So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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