I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
