I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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