And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
