Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
