We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
