I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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