is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
