I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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