I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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