Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
