we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
