I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
