Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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