I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
