Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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