So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
