The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
