Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
