Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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