There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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