I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
