it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
not ubering you a puppy
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
