So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
