The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
