we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
