I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
