I can feel you judging me through the phone.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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